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Jenna Edgley
Certified Birth Doula (CBD)
Placenta Encapsulator
Student Childbirth Educator
Rebozo Practitioner
Servicing Maryborough to
​Hervey Bay, QLD

What Can You Do If You Have Been Unable To Quit Smoking Before Or During Early Pregnancy

26/7/2014

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(***Quick note, yes it is ideal to be able to quit smoking before or as soon as possible after you find out you are pregnant, but for many who do smoke it is extremely difficult and some people do find it impossible to quit smoking, this post is not meant to give people an excuse not to quit smoking, it is designed to help those who genuinely have not been able to quit smoking for whatever reasons, and hopefully help them to cut down and eventually quit on their own when they are ready to do it.***)

Smoking during pregnancy. We all know it’s bad for our health and bad for our unborn baby’s health. So what happens if you are unable to quit when you find out that you are pregnant?

Rather than go into all the bad things that can happen I am going to tell you 10 things that you can do to reduce your risks while you are still smoking and will hopefully allow you to cut down gradually and eventually quit smoking on your own, in your own time, when you are well and truly ready to finally throw that packet of smokes/tobacco away for good, and if you aren’t ready yet then that is ok as well. It takes time to quit and may involve many attempts at quitting in the process. The more times you try to quit the easier it will be when you do eventually stop smoking, and you will have a better chance at quitting for good because you will already know what works and what doesn’t work for you.


1. Set yourself a limit of how many cigarettes that you can smoke a day for each week of your pregnancy. If you are used to smoking a pack a day (20 or more) start with the number that you would smoke on an average day and reduce that number by 1 smoke a day for each week or fortnight, eg 1 week or fortnight you will smoke 20 a day, the next week or fortnight you will reduce it to 19 a day and so on. If you found out you were pregnant at 4-5 weeks gestation and you smoke 25 cigarettes a day and choose to drop one a week then by the time you reach 25 weeks pregnant you could potentially only be smoking 5 cigarettes a day – not too bad in my opinion, and that means that by the time your baby is born you could potentially have managed to be down to only 1 smoke a day each week or may even have managed to kick the cigarettes for good!

2. Take care of yourself. While cigarettes aren’t good for your health there are other things that you can do to make yourself healthier while still smoking. Moderate exercise and eating healthy good quality foods are 2 things that you can do. Pampering yourself each time you manage to drop 1 cigarette, by treating yourself to a manicure/pedicure, a facial, a massage or a movie, you can make yourself feel good and reduce your stress levels, and by rewarding yourself each time you reduce your daily number of cigarettes that you smoke you are one step closer to being able to successfully quit. Each time you have a cigarette you are rewarding the nerve centers in the brain that have become addicted to the nicotine, so by rewarding yourself when you don’t have one you are slowly transferring the reward addiction across to something healthier, and better for you.

3. Don’t use junk food as a reward for not smoking! It is easy to do and it tastes good at the time but it isn’t good for your body either. Instead of rewarding yourself with junk food reward yourself with something healthy that you really like – for example a healthy food, like a fruit, that you really like but it is a seasonal item and to buy it when it isn’t readily available costs a lot more so you don’t normally buy it, instead of buying junk food spend that extra bit of money on that fruit. Your baby and your body will thank you for it.

4. Don’t beat yourself up if you have a bad day and smoke more than you had planned to. Shit happens, and sometimes we need to something like that to make ourselves feel better. Just start again the next day and do some things to make yourself feel good for each smoke you don’t have after that.

5. Talk to your family doctor or Obstetrician. They may be able to suggest some ways to help you either to cut down or to make yourself healthier even though you are smoking, or they may be able to refer you to someone that you can talk to who can provide advice for you. Sometimes we have underlying reasons for our smoking that can make it extremely difficult to quit, and talking to someone, even if it is a therapist or psychologist, can help us to acknowledge those issues which can pave the way to a healthier and happier you and may even help you to start the journey to quitting smoking.

6. Drink plenty of fluids. Smoking can cause snoring and constant coughing which can affect your hydration in a negative way. Drink 2-3 litres of water a day to make sure that you stay well hydrated and to prevent dehydration. If you struggle to drink plain water then try adding a small amount of low sugar cordial (one cap full) or a small amount of fresh fruit juice (50ml maximum) to your water for a bit of flavouring.

7. If your partner or other people living with you smoke ask them to smoke outside and away from you. It is well known that when you are around others who are smoking then you are more likely to smoke as well, and it is bad for a baby’s health to be exposed to cigarette smoke in the home so this is good preparation for when the baby arrives. Ask them to support you in this, tell them that it is important to you and make sure that they abide by it. If they refuse to abide by it then make sure that you stay away from them when they are smoking.

8. Set a goal for what you will do with the money that you will save. Setting a goal can help a lot when you are trying to cut down or quit smoking. If you normally smoked a pack (20 or more) a day but you are aiming to be smoking only 5 or 10 a day (or even less) by the time baby is born you have the potential to save quite a bit of money by the time your baby arrives. If you are spending an average of $100 a week on cigarettes and manage to get down to only smoking half of what you used to you will be saving $50 a week. If you get to that point by the time you are 20 weeks pregnant then you potentially have another 20 weeks to go where you will be saving $50 a week, over the full 20 weeks that amounts to a total of $1,000 that you have in your pocket! If you put that $50 a week into a savings account then by the end of your pregnancy that could pay for a lot of nappies, wipes, formula and other items, or you could use it to pay for a holiday or to pay out some debts. It gives you something to look forward to and can make you feel good about yourself to see the amount of money in your savings account getting bigger each week.

9. Take it 1 day at a time. It is very hard to cut down and even harder to quit smoking, and any other addiction as well. If you don’t succeed one day then start again the next day. You will find that the days that you succeed in cutting down start to happen more often until eventually you succeed in cutting down every time you put your plans into action. It may take a while, but eventually you will get there.

10. Don’t give up! It is so easy to give up when things are hard or difficult to do, but it is the worst thing that you can do, for both yourself and your baby. As said in an earlier section, if you fail one day then start again the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Keep trying and you will eventually succeed. It takes hard work to achieve something that you really want and you will feel really good about yourself if you keep at it and make it work. Find a buddy that you can talk to when you are having a bad day or week, it can be your partner, a close friend, or someone online that you don’t actually know in person but trust enough to talk to on a regular basis. Talking to someone can help a lot on those bad days and can help you to pick yourself up and try again.


“If you fail, don’t give up and walk away. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, straighten your back and shoulders, lift your head up and try again. Keep trying until you succeed. It may take a thousand tries but there will come that last time when you get it right and it will be worth it all.”


Jenna Edgley
Student Birth Doula
FOOTPRINTS & RAINBOWS

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10 Things You Need To Know And Do When Supporting Someone Through A New Pregnancy After A Loss (Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Neonatal Loss, SIDS, Other Loss)

17/7/2014

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Going through a new pregnancy after experiencing a loss can be a very emotional and lonely period of time. Many families feel alone during this time and some feel judged or feel guilty, as though they are replacing their dead child with another one. Some have received advice to forget about their dead child and “move on” while others feel that their dead child has been forgotten by everyone around them except themselves.

So what can you do to support someone (this could be a friend, your partner or a relative) who is having another baby after the loss of a previous child? In this blog post you will find suggestions of things that you can do to make this time easier and happier for everyone involved while still allowing the parent/s to mourn the loss of their previous child.

The one thing that the majority of parents who experienced the loss of a child want is for their dead child to be acknowledged and remembered. They fear that their child who has passed on will be forgotten by everyone except themselves and if their child had a name they fear it will be forgotten too. These feelings can be exacerbated by the news that they are expecting a new baby and they will need a lot of support during this time.

1. You can remember their child, talk about their child, say his or her name, buy something special for the parent/s that commemorates the child who has died and also includes the new baby. Make sure that while you are celebrating a new life, a living baby, that the other child is also remembered and included in these celebrations.

2. Make sure that the parents know that you are thinking of them, and that you haven’t forgotten the child that they have lost.

3. This doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate the new baby, you still can. Make the parent/s feel special, loved and supported, this new baby is a gift and is extra special to the parent/s because they already know what it is like to lose something so precious. At the same time make sure that they are aware that you haven’t forgotten their much loved child who died.

4. Do something special for the parent/s. It can be cleaning their house, looking after any other children for a day or night so that they can have some special time together, doing a bulk cook up for them so they can have meals in the freezer, get a special gift for the both of them, do something in honour of the baby who has passed away. There are so many things that you can do.

5. Involve any other children (if they are old enough to understand) and family members in preparations for the arrival of the new baby. Get them to help in doing something special that will be “from” the baby/child who has passed away “to” the parent/s and the new baby.

6. Remember the dates. Just letting the parent/s know that you are thinking of them on the birthday of their lost child and on the anniversary of the day their baby/child died can be a big help to grieving parent/s, especially when there is a new baby on the way and they are feeling alone and may be feeling guilty about having another baby.

7. Keep involved. A lot of grieving parent/s note that people drift away from them after the loss of a child and if they become pregnant again they are very lonely and don’t have the support network that they used to have during their last pregnancy. Stay involved in their lives, pop by for a visit regularly as they will appreciate it a lot, call them regularly to see how they are going. Continue to be a part of their lives.

8. Ask them how they are “really” feeling. Many grieving parent/s hide how they really feel from others, including their own families. They feel like they can’t talk or that no one is listening or that if they do talk they will be told to “get over it” or be considered silly or stupid. Really talk to them and have in depth conversations about how they really feel. It will help them. Listen to them, be an open ear for everything that they need to talk about, even if it is the same things over and over and over again keep listening to them and supporting them because they really need your help to work through it all and may need to say these things a thousand times before they can start to heal or before they accept that they will actually be having a living baby to take home.

9. Make them laugh. When you are still grieving and are expecting a new baby it can be very hard to see the funny side in anything. Help them to see the funny side again. Help them to laugh and enjoy themselves again. Let them know that you care about them deeply and you don’t want to make their child’s death seem like it is nothing but that you want to see them smile and laugh again as you miss that part of them. Tell them that it is ok to be happy to be having a new baby after a child has died, that it is ok to enjoy things again.

10. Help them to heal. Losing a child breaks your heart. It isn’t something that ever goes away, it is always there in the back of a parent/s mind. Their hearts ache when they think of their child. In the early days they may cry a lot, maybe all day. Many grieving parent/s cut themselves off from the world and refuse to leave the house or do anything in general. Be there for them during this time, support them, remind them of the good times, cry with them when they are having a really bad day, hug them when they need a hug. When grieving parent/s are expecting a new baby all of these things can come back and affect them, and it can seem like it is happening all over again. They may need the same support that they needed back then. They may need more support. They will need to know that they are not alone anymore and that you will be there for them.
All of this will help them to heal from the intense pain that having lost a child prior to expecting a new baby brings, and while it will never go away and they will always be changed by this experience.

I hope that this will help those who are supporting families through a new pregnancy after a loss.

Jenna Edgley
Student Birth Doula
FOOTPRINTS & RAINBOWS
(Multiple Early Pregnancy Loss Survivor)
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Hospital Bags - What Do I Really Need To Pack?

8/7/2014

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Having a baby and not sure what to pack in your hospital bag/s? Seen other peoples lists and wondered if you really need all that stuff?

Here’s a simple list of basics that should be in every hospital bag/s and why you need them.

Picture
Bag for Baby:

20 x Nappies – Babies can poo a lot in those first few days. My 3 kids went through at least 10 nappies each in the first 24 hours, so pack 20 into your hospital bag just in case. If you are staying longer in hospital and need more after 24 hours you can always get someone to bring more to you. If you are alone and don’t have anyone to help you then it would be a good idea to pack more. In some cases the hospital will have some that you can use as well.

2 x Packs of Wipes – You will need these, and a lot of them in the beginning especially if you are a first time mum. The first poo (meconium) is very sticky and can be difficult to get off baby’s bottom.

3 x Singlets – Most hospitals like to have babies wearing singlets under their clothes, but for the first day or 2 you may only need to change the singlet daily. Babies can get by fine without them though as long as they are dressed appropriately and are wrapped in their blanket when they aren’t being held by you. You can always get someone to bring some extra singlets to you. If you are alone and don’t have anyone who can help you pack at least 5 singlets.

1 x Tube of nappy rash cream – Just in case baby gets a rash. Hospitals will usually supply some if needed but it’s good practice to have one ready just in case.

5 x Jumpsuits – these are to dress baby in. Buy size 000, even if it is a bit big on your baby they will fit for longer and will do what it needs to do, which is keep your baby warm. You don’t really need all of those super cute outfits available in the shops in the early days, and babies grow out of them so quickly that your baby may not be able to wear them all before he or she grows out of them.

3-4 Bibs – Pack a few bibs just in case baby chucks up. They will help to keep baby’s clothes clean and dry and are good for mopping up milk dribbles.

1-2 Blankets – Pack 1-2 blankets for baby. Depending on what season it is when baby is born pack either a thin cotton blanket (for early autumn, summer and late spring) or a thick warm blanket (for late autumn, winter and early spring). If baby has been having some trouble regulating his or her temperature prior to discharge from hospital you may need to have 2 blankets to help keep baby warm.

4 x Face washers – Pack 4 face washers to help keep baby’s face clean. Hospitals usually supply some, but it is always handy to have some from home so that baby gets used to them before you both go home.

6 x Terry Cloth Nappies or hand towels – Pack 6 of these in. If you don’t have the terry cloth nappies then hand towels will do the same job. They are great for protecting your clothes from chuck and milk while feeding baby, and when rolled up they can help to lift up your breast if you are breastfeeding so that you don’t have to hold it up as much and can focus more on baby’s latch.

Picture
Picture
Mum’s Hospital Bag:

This bag is for your things. If you have a big enough bag you can put yours and baby’s things in the same bag but for this post we are making the assumption that you will be using 2 bags.

SNACKS! – These are very important, if you are labouring, you will need some good healthy and high energy snacks to munch on to keep your uterine muscles working efficiently. Pack in a nut, fruit and seed mix, muesli bars, dried fruit, banana’s, apples and (as a treat or last resort) a bag of jelly beans and lollipops. If you are having a planned cesarean these are great for after you are back on the ward with baby. Hospital food isn’t the best tasting thing in the world (and the taste really depends on how good the chef or cook in the kitchen is!) so having some tasty and healthy snacks in your room is a really good idea and if you have fruits, nuts and seeds they will provide your body with much needed energy and nutrients needed to begin the healing process.

2 x Maternity Bra/Crop Top Bra – You need one that is comfortable and that has room to stretch for when your breasts become engorged. Even if you decide not to breastfeed the chances are high that your breasts will become engorged before any medication used to stop lactation takes effect. Pack 2 in if you have others to help bring in things for you, if you are alone with no help then pack 4 in.

1-2 x Pyjama’s – You may need these for during labour and/or during those first few nights (because lets face it, the hospital gowns are not comfortable and most definitely are not flattering to wear). If you decide to breastfeed make sure that your breasts can be easily accessed without having to lift the entire Shirt or Nightgown up above your breasts, PJ tops with buttons work well, as do Maternity Singlets with a section at the top that clips on (look for Bond’s maternity singlets, if you fit a size 10 in regular Target or Big W clothes then go for the next size or 2 up in Bonds for a comfortable fit that will also fit during the engorgement stage).

2-4 x Track pants – These will be comfortable to wear after your baby is born. Make sure that they are a bit baggy in the legs and not tight around your waist. You can also wear these home when you are discharged.

6 x Pairs of Granny Undies – These are so NOT flattering, but they are essential because they are loose and baggy and don’t dig in anywhere that might be tender. If you have had a cesarean these are essential because they come up to your waist (or just above it) and won’t dig into the incision area like bikini-type underwear do. They hold the entire maternity pad and you can put extra pads inside as well to help prevent leakage, because lets face it, birth isn’t pretty, and that first week or so after birth you can be bleeding quite heavily ( sometimes more than you would during a very heavy period).

4 x Packs of Maternity Pads – You will need lots of these during those first few weeks or so. In the first week especially you may sometimes have to change your pad 5 or more times a day to prevent leakage. For me, the first 4 days were the worst and I found myself having to change them approximately every 2 hours just to prevent leakage (I did not hemorraghe, but when you spend a lot of time lying down with baby the blood collects and as soon as you stand up it gushes out and sometimes the pads don’t soak it up quick enough and they leak everywhere, so changing them regularly every few hours is a good idea).

3 x Maternity Singlets – As mentioned above, maternity singlets are great for when you are breastfeeding and can be worn as PJ’s. Most maternity singlets have a section that clips on to the straps cover your breasts and can be unclipped and lowered on one side or both to expose your breast for breastfeeding. If you decide to breastfeed pack in 3, just in case one gets dirty or you have to stay in hospital more than the average 24-48 hours.

1 x Jacket – For when you leave. It may also help you to stay warm if you go for a walk outside or to the cafeteria as the maternity wards are kept a few degrees warmer than the rest of the hospital so that the babies can stay warm.

Camera – For taking all those photo’s of your baby, and even of your labour as well if you wish.

Phone – So that you can call or text everyone after the baby is born to let them know. If you are a twitter or facebook person then you can share with the world when baby is born. If your phone has a camera (most do these days, but you can still get some that don’t have camera’s) you can take photo’s of your labour and baby with it.

Phone Charger – To charge your phone of course.



Optional Items -

3 x T-shirts – These are optional, if you already have the maternity singlets and jacket then you won’t need them, however you can swap the maternity singlets for these if you wish, or you can mix them and pack 1 or 2 maternity singlets with 1 or 2 t-shirts.

Breast Pump – Another optional item. If you are breastfeeding or plan to pump milk for baby you can bring it with you in your bag to start using it immediately after birth.

Bottles – Again these are optional. Many hospitals provide disposable bottles for mum’s to use.

Formula – Another optional, although if you are planning not to breastfeed then pack this into your baby’s bag. Some hospitals supply formula, but not all do, so it is best to ask when you do the tour so that you will know if you need to pack it or not.


Everything else that you pack is up to you. You may have some music that you want to listen to during labour, or a magazine that you want to read, or you may want to do some puzzles. This list is just the basics of what you really need, and it can be easily altered to fit your personal needs.

Happy Birthing!

Jenna Edgley
Student Birth Doula
FOOTPRINTS & RAINBOWS

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    Author

    Jenna Edgley is a Certified Birth Doula, a Placenta Encapsulator, a student of both Childbirth Education and Rebozo practitioner training, a mum of 3 children, a small business owner, a potty mouth & a self-admitted coffee addict.
    Gemstones and plants are her weak point!
    ​And she collects them with the same dedicated passion that she applies to Pregnancy and Birth Support.

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